The Chainlink

Why is it...

that when people (often a family member,) know that you're a cyclist, they feel obliged to bitch to you about the bad behaviour of cyclists?

i sat very patiently through a cousin's tirade (for about the tenth time) about an incident he witnessed involving a rider who yelled at a driver after a right hooking encounter. He even made a point of telling me that if he'd caught up to the rider he'd have run him off the street with his car. Nice, eh?

i got to hear for the umpteeth time about how cyclists act like privileged editholes that don't stop at reds and stop signs and yell at drivers blah blah blah blah... ad nauseam. And how Mayor Rahm was ruining the city by creating bike lanes and otherwise ruining it for cars by letting bikes take over the  streets and ranted all his conspiracy theories along those lines of thought.

His brother chimed in with his own story of woe about getting stuck behind a CCM bunch. 

 

Do you get this too? How do you deal with this? What do you say when you hear this sort of thing?

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Permalink Reply by yai danche on November 24, 2012 at 4:46pm

It sounds like he was baiting you for a confrontation.  I wouldn't take the bait and change the subject.  

Permalink Reply by David P. on November 24, 2012 at 8:40pm

Your cousin (and people who do what you describe) was, for the purposes of his rant, essentializing you as a cyclist. You are also many other things (as is he), but none of those mattered at that time and place. You could, perhaps, respond in kind by essentializing him as a (car) driver and go off (with dry sarcasm, perhaps) about the behavior of car drivers. It is fairly likely that if you were to do this that a person like your cousin would not see the analogy - driving is what normal people do, and you, as a cyclist, are a social outlier and member of an out-group (or so he may think.) So perhaps another tack to take would be to essentialize him in terms of some niche interest or activity of his - that is, after all, how he likely sees you as a cyclist. Those gun owners / motorcyclists / Duke fans / etc. are crazy, after all! :)

David

Permalink Reply by Mike Bullis 5.5-6.5 miles on November 25, 2012 at 9:19am

I used to have arguments like this with family and coworkers until I was hit from behind by a driver who said "I was a bit sleepy and closed my eyes for a few seconds." Now, if someone want to start some shit I just state the above quote and show my scars. The few who are total shit heads, I'll let read the accident report.

The one cousin who is certifiably 'bat shit crazy', I took to the accident site and while we were standing on the paved shoulder of the road, he was almost whacked by a driver texting. He is still 'crazy' but he rarely bitches about bicyclists now.

Permalink Reply by mike w. on November 25, 2012 at 10:14am

Mike, tell me again the road you were on when you were hit. i have a dim recollection that it's one i ride occasionally.

i get needled by coworkers, family and sometimes total strangers once in awhile. i'll remember your story to them next time i feel like having that "discussion."
 
Mike Bullis said:

 

The one cousin who is certifiably 'bat shit crazy', I took to the accident site and while we were standing on the paved shoulder of the road, he was almost whacked by a driver texting. He is still 'crazy' but he rarely bitches about bicyclists now.

Permalink Reply by mike w. on November 25, 2012 at 10:21am

David, that's a deep analysis. Thanks for that. i did use a touch (just a touch- i didn't need a full blown arguement at the Thanksgiving table) of sarcasm (i prefer to say i was sardonic) in my replies before changing subjects. i am just a bit of a social outlier anyway, so i've developed a slightly thicker skin to others' dismal opinions of my behaviour. 
 
David P. said:

Your cousin (and people who do what you describe) was, for the purposes of his rant, essentializing you as a cyclist. You are also many other things (as is he), but none of those mattered at that time and place. You could, perhaps, respond in kind by essentializing him as a (car) driver and go off (with dry sarcasm, perhaps) about the behavior of car drivers. It is fairly likely that if you were to do this that a person like your cousin would not see the analogy - driving is what normal people do, and you, as a cyclist, are a social outlier and member of an out-group (or so he may think.) So perhaps another tack to take would be to essentialize him in terms of some niche interest or activity of his - that is, after all, how he likely sees you as a cyclist. Those gun owners / motorcyclists / Duke fans / etc. are crazy, after all! :)

David

Permalink Reply by mike w. on November 25, 2012 at 10:24am

The thought comes to mind occasionally, but i tend to be non-violent (physically, if not verbally,) and considering the source, it wouldn't have been worth it at the time.
 
notoriousDUG said:

If one of my cousins mentioned running a cyclist off the road I would punch them.

Permalink Reply by Mike Bullis 5.5-6.5 miles on November 25, 2012 at 1:36pm

Kelsey Rd, Mike. About 100yds north of Harbor, midway through the curve.

Permalink Reply by Gort 12-mile Pinklegneep on November 25, 2012 at 8:49pm

He even made a point of telling me that if he'd caught up to the rider he'd have run him off the street with his car. 

i got to hear for the umpteeth time about how cyclists act like privileged editholes

Hmm. 

HHhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm. 

Permalink Reply by Gort 12-mile Pinklegneep on November 25, 2012 at 8:50pm

I'm consulting the etiquenomicon here and apparently, at a family dinner, if a relative advocates attempted manslaughter, you are well within pinkies-up good manners to tell them to shut the fuck up. 

Permalink Reply by dan brown on November 26, 2012 at 8:13am



Michelle Stenzel said:

 

<snip>

A coworker who drives to her Loop job from Lakeview was complaining to me about how there were too many people on bikes all over during her morning commute and I pointed out that many of those pesky people were like me, who own a car and could afford to pay for parking if I wanted to, and would she prefer to have each of them in a car in front of her on Diversey instead?

<snip>

 

MIchelle - this is a good one. I have used that one often in the past. It proves that the complainer is not using any logic at all in their line of thinking.

 

DB

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