Good Reasons to Not Wear a Helmet
#1. It's a brain bucket. I don't want to put my brain in a bucket. I prefer to use my skull to hold my brains.
#2. Helmets mess with my comb-over and well, you know how unstylish a messed up comb-over is...
#3. Makes you look like a mushroom. I would be OK with looking like broccoli but I can't do a mushroom look...no way!
#4. It's mainstream. I'm hip so I always go the other way.
#5. It costs money. Lord knows I'm cheap. (So I spend a lot of money on personal electronics, I need that! These helmets are nothing but a way to take your hard earned cash.)
#6. It'll scare people into thinking biking is dangerous (much like STDs stopped people from having sex) and then only people who can reason that cycling can be done safely if proper precautions are observed will choose to ride and then cycling will be unpopular and less people will ride and then it'll be dangerous and then only hipsters without helmets will ride and that'll be kinda mainstream and, well see #4.
Views: 1272
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mike Zumwalt on
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In 12 years of cycling,meaning not owning a car,I've been cycling even when I owned one I've hit my head once. The biggest problem is hitting people,cars or being hit and my legs will take the brunt of that. Plus in 90° even with vents they're hot.
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Permalink Reply by Tom A.K. on
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http://www.bhsi.org/limits.htm
What are bicycle helmets designed to protect you from?
"Most of the cases where the helmets limits are exceeded involve crashes with cars. Every rider understands that it is very important to avoid being hit by a car. A helmet will do a good job of protecting you in a fall, but the limits can be exceeded,
It should be clear that nothing about wearing a helmet affects the need to ride safely, or the need for safe riding facilities."
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Permalink Reply by Joe Guzzardo on
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Ok, check out this baby.
This isn't a perfect solution. Odds are your coiffure will be mussed once deployed, so it may be necessary to use your comb to get things back to normal and this device isn't cheap. But you can be assured that every hipster, although they won't admit it, will be secretly very jealous.
Follicle freedom fighters, unite!
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Hitting a sharp object upon impact will render this 'item' totally useless. Plus, having to wear a cloth covered vinyl scarf while cycling might be horridly hot, especially on a day like today.
Does anyone else notice in above pictures, the model in the 'inflated' picture has much heavier eye makeup on? Maybe this item also applies makeup on you(women's version) while it blast up over your head so you look presentable for emergency responders.
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Hmmm, I missed that. I guess that's why she looks hotter after inflation. I didn't notice if they offered a more advanced model that applies high speed facial makeup, but if they did, that feature alone would be a valuable marketable product for today's busy woman.
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Permalink Reply by Mike Schwab on
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Its not a Bell Gage helmet to reduce rotational forces to reduce incidents of concussions.
http://www.bikebiz.com/news/read/bell-introduces-mips-anti-rotation...
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Permalink Reply by Irvin Steinert on
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Oh how conflicted I am! Just knowing that by simply wearing a helmet it is a sneer at the un-helmeted. It's more of a statement then a safety device, I see that now! How evil I must be to destroy the freedom of unhelmetness simply by choosing to be part of the helmet wearing community.
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Permalink Reply by Filka Bean on
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Ha- I really feel this way a bit, Irvin! I have a light mounted on my helmet, and whenever I ride fast I wear a helmet, but I also believe that helmet laws and the "responsible cyclist" rhetoric is primarily about shifting blame away from DOT and infrastructure and onto cyclists themselves, which I definitely do not want to support in any way. Bike Snob sums it up well in this editorial: https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/04/15/dont-ma...
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Well put and well meaning but bike snob always always hooks (or slices).
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He's a snob which is his most prominent feature. Tell me what's so right about it? It's pro bike? He draws you in with "I'm not anti-car I even own one" (I'm paraphrasing). Why bring up Henry Ford anti-semite? What's that got to do with wearing helmets? Is he pro-Jaywalking? Should we all do what ever we want on the roads and sidewalks (NO RULES HOORAY! FREEDOM!) A definite hook.
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The article about the history of urban roads that is linked to in that article (also here) is long but mostly what I took from it is summed up in this quote:
"If a kid is hit in a street in 2014, I think our first reaction would be to ask, ‘What parent is so neglectful that they let their child play in the street?,’” says Norton. “In 1914, it was pretty much the opposite. It was more like, ‘What evil bastard would drive their speeding car where a kid might be playing?’ That tells us how much our outlook on the public street has changed—blaming the driver was really automatic then. It didn’t help if they said something like, ‘The kid darted out into the street!,’ because the answer would’ve been, ‘That’s what kids do. By choosing to operate this dangerous machine, it’s your job to watch out for others.
I don't think either author is pulling for anarchy in the streets. I think they just want to point out that American roads are heavily biased and that the bias isn't really about what's best for the majority of humans living in the city.
And what's all this got to do with helmets? Yeah... I can't remember... seems like there was some connection but since my fall I haven't...
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