To members of the BBC who are attending this years 3ST, the start date is approximately seven weeks away and now is the time to maybe consider thinking about training. Cycle training should consist of riding less than a mile then stopping for not less than 20 minutes. This should be repeated at least once. Reasons for stopping should include, but not limited to, pastries, beer, lunch, beer, sightseeing, beer, photography, beer, discussing Sturmey Archer, beer, peeing, and scotch. Preferably a 12 year old single malt.
Training for pastries should consist of stopping at a local bakery and sampling their wares until you feel yourself worthy enough to down a maple and bacon doughnut. Practicing on Hostess products is considered bad form and will open you to heartless harassment.
Training for beer should consist of stopping at a public house, walking in and placing one foot on a brass rail and catching the eye of the publican. Order a Stout or a microbrew. Once your order has been delivered, place one hand around glass and lift towards mouth. Swallow. You cannot, I repeat, cannot practice this maneuver enough. Ordering a Lite Beer in the presence of another Nutter may result in the revocation of your Nutter status and much ridicule.
Scotch training should consist of purchasing a Scotch whisky without an 'e' and transferring a small amount to a flask. Take a swig from the bottle and then continue fill the flask. At certain times during the 3ST it is customary to take a swig and to then pass the flask to the person on your right. Or left if no one is on your right. If you are by yourself, take a second swig.
Lunch, sightseeing, photography, discussing Sturmey Archer and pee training......you are on your own.