The Chainlink

Mum's the word?

We've all had our near misses, and I'm sure the recent deaths of three cyclists in the Chicago area has that risk on everyone's minds.  So, how much do you tell your spouse/significant other/kids/parents/etc about your near misses?

I used to tell my wife about all my close encounters.  I haven't told her about my latest near miss though.  Her mom already thinks bikes should be relegated to padded tubes far from cars, and never fails to voice her disapproval about bike commuting whenever the topic of riding in the city comes up in conversation.  So, this time I kept my mouth shut when I got home.  I don't think the details of the incident are all that important, though it has stuck with me for the past week or two, making it one that stood out.

So, what about you?  Do you regale your family with all your near misses or do you try to avoid worrying them and keep your mouth shut some, most or all of the time?

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Permalink Reply by Michelle S on November 24, 2012 at 9:19am

I tell my husband about them but he's not as anxious about riding in the city as it sounds like your wife is. If it causes her a lot of anxiety, I'd say spare her the stress and share your tales with us instead on the Near Miss thread.

Permalink Reply by Duppie on November 24, 2012 at 11:19am
Like the pun in the title.

Have you tried going out for a ride together? Show her how you navigate traffic, so the she can experience first hand that you are a safe rider?

And no, i don't elaborate much on my daily commute. When I elaborate it is about fun stuff. Dressed up doggies definitely do get a mention at the dinner table...
Permalink Reply by Skip Montanaro 0mi on November 24, 2012 at 11:55am

I ride with my wife frequently.  It's never in an urban commuting setting though.  She's actually pretty supportive of my biking obsession.  I'm just wondering more if I should stop mentioning every encounter.

Permalink Reply by Lisa Curcio on November 24, 2012 at 12:36pm

In so far as your wife is concerned, does it bother her?  If it does, why worry her?  Knock on wood, I have not had too many, but I tell my husband because he's my best friend and he only worries a little.  As to the mom--I never tell her bad stuff.  She worries a lot!

Permalink Reply by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on November 24, 2012 at 3:19pm
Sometimes I do and then immediately regret it :))
Permalink Reply by Tim S on November 24, 2012 at 3:20pm

I don't share nearly as much as I used to, especially after some of the stupid comments made after N.T. passed and his boss said that he was always talking about near misses... made the biker look like the tool rather than the vehicles.

Watched a documentary on bikes showing some fast riding in a city and my girl said, "You dont ride like that do you?" I smiled and said "fast is fun" she again said "You dont ride like that" and that was that... No need to scare the ones we love. :)

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on November 24, 2012 at 4:08pm

I talk about some near misses, when I need to vent a bit to work through it.  Sometimes I share with my husband, sometimes with friends - depends on the timing of the incident and where it is.

When my dad was still around, I didn't talk to him about near misses after my summer of disaster back in 2000 (2 doorings and an endo) left him more than a bit freaked out.  I made a point to tell him about the fun stuff after that and leave out the scary stuff.

Permalink Reply by yai danche on November 24, 2012 at 4:13pm

I try to not share near misses with non-cyclists, but not for the same reason you're hesitating with sharing.  My family's response is usually along the lines of "I told you riding your bike is dangerous."  

Permalink Reply by Skip Montanaro 0mi on November 24, 2012 at 4:33pm

It doesn't bother her.  Yet.  That's the main reason I asked.

Lisa Curcio said:

In so far as your wife is concerned, does it bother her?  If it does, why worry her?  Knock on wood, I have not had too many, but I tell my husband because he's my best friend and he only worries a little.  As to the mom--I never tell her bad stuff.  She worries a lot!

Permalink Reply by Skip Montanaro 0mi on November 24, 2012 at 4:34pm

Yes, that's my mother-in-law, to a "T".  I wouldn't mind, though she's like a dog on a bone.

yai danche said:

My family's response is usually along the lines of "I told you riding your bike is dangerous."  

Permalink Reply by Bill Savage on November 24, 2012 at 6:26pm

My sweetheart does not ride, so I share nothing, as any close call makes her worry far out of proportion to the need to do so.  She pesters me about safety (if I had as many lights on as she'd like, I'd look like a two-wheeled Xmas tree) but otherwise I keep quiet.  Near-miss stories are for other hard-core cyclists and/or random folks who won't take it personally.

Permalink Reply by Anne Alt on November 24, 2012 at 6:53pm

In case you're wondering, my dad rode for most of his life, but not nearly as many miles or in as many types of situations as I have.  Picking me up from the ER when my face and knee were messed up from a crash made him a lot more nervous, and he never liked the idea of me commuting by bike into the Loop.

Anne Alt said:

I talk about some near misses, when I need to vent a bit to work through it.  Sometimes I share with my husband, sometimes with friends - depends on the timing of the incident and where it is.

When my dad was still around, I didn't talk to him about near misses after my summer of disaster back in 2000 (2 doorings and an endo) left him more than a bit freaked out.  I made a point to tell him about the fun stuff after that and leave out the scary stuff.

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