Winston's Tweed Ride

Inspired by The London Fixed-Gear and Single-Speed Forum's Tweed Run and challenged by San Francisco's Thursday Tweed Ride, I would like to announce the 1st Annual Winston's Tweed Ride! This celebration of herringbone, hip flasks, and our noble steeds will be hosted by British Bicycles of Chicago, or the BBC.

Everyone is invited! If you have a Brit bike, do ride. If you don't, but enjoy tweedy elegance, do ride. If you do both, CERTAINLY DO RIDE!!!

2 May 2009 marks the 80th anniversary of Winston Churchill’s invention of his exquisitely dry martini: copious amounts of gin poured over crushed ice while he observed the vermouth from across the room. The route, designed by the Right Honorable Lee Diamond, is 10 civilized miles meandering past (and into) some of The Windy City's most infamous (and still open) speakeasies. Where else but in these lively establishments would the ladies & gents find more bracing refreshments and hearty victuals?

As with our fellow tweed runs, we hope to offer small, but significant, prizes for

Most Dapper Chap

Most Snappy Lass

Most Stylish Noble Steed

Most Inspired Interpretation of Tweediness

Best Mustache
(open to both lads and inventive lasses)

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Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on May 4, 2009 at 5:38pm

My apologies to Mr. Shakespeare and his St. Crispen's Day speech!

If we are mark'd to ride, we are enow
To do our city good; and if to live,
The more nutters, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish for one bike more.
By Jove, I am not covetous or bold,
Nor care I who doth join despite the cost;
It yearns me that nutters my tweeds wear;
Such outward things dwell much in my desires.

But if it be a sin to covet nickers,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, I wish I was a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one bike more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one less!
Rather proclaim it, Tweedyness, through my host,
That they which hath no stomach for this ride,
Let them depart; their Brit bikes shall be praised,
And tyres for convoy put around their necks;
We would sure ride in that one's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is call'd the feast of Winston’s Ride.
They that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will do a bike-lift when this day is nam'd,
And rouse them at the name of Winston.
They that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast their neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Winston’s Ride.'
Then will they strip their socks and show their scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Winston's day.'

Old farts forget; yet all shan’t be forgot,
But they’'ll remember, with advantages,
What drinks we did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in their mouth as household words-
Lee the Diamond, Pirogi John, Garth,
Aaron and Willow, Tank Ridin’, Dottie-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the old ones teach for fun;
And Winston’s Tweedy Feast shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of bikers;
For they to-day that sheds their oil with me
Shall be my nutter; be they ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle their condition;
And gentlefolk in Chitown now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they rode not here,
And hold their bike frames cheap whiles any speaks
That rode with us upon Winston’s Tweed Ride.

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on May 3, 2009 at 12:18am

Thank you all for o wonderful ride!!!

Comment by T.C. O'Rourke on May 2, 2009 at 12:07pm

Humph. Buncha John Bulls, tell you what.

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on April 30, 2009 at 6:07pm

My Young & Lively Companions,

First, my profound apologies to the Right Honourable Lee. Next 12 September's Tweed Ride will most certainly be addressed through a forum discussion. But with a little more than a day and counting, it's unfortunately too late.

Second, I ran into the comely Sailor today at U of C. She inquired as to the tweedyness of our little tour Saturday.

To use the wonderfully colourful vernacular of our American Cousins, tweedyness ain't all that mystifying. All it takes is a scrupulous informality in your attire!

Most of the more gentile sort (lads & lassies alike) have the essential ingredients in their modest boudoirs. Your standard issue bike cap or flat cap is also most decently appropriate.

If you lack the tweed jacket, then a vest will do. No vest? Then a light, V-neck pullover (or sweater for our uncouth American Cousins) will do. The stripery the better!

Underneath DO WEAR a dress shirt; again, the stripery the better. Crown it off with a narrow tie or the more sartorial bow-tie. School colours get extra points! Remember, fastidious fashion are the words of the hour.

And below the decks? Whether you refer to them as Knickers, Breeks, Breaches, or Pantaloons, all you need is leggy attire that floats seductively at mid-hip or modestly drops to just above the knee. Of course, exposing your devilish calves is strictly unseemly so cover up with knee-length socks. Argyle is MOST fetching.

Please be attuned that the point of our little tour is to SPRUCE UP, blast it! Do fight the slavish temptation of those horrid man-made fibers so much favored by the more odious lycra louts.

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on April 30, 2009 at 5:22pm

2 days and counting! Thanks to all for the music suggestions. To whet your appetites, the Right Honourable John, Sir Aaron, and my humble self have been calling the speakeasies on the route. Here's what some are offering:

John Barleycorn's in Lincoln Park: $1 off drinks.

Emmits agreed to give us $1 off Guiness pints which usually go for 5.50

Paramount Room has 2.50 PBR's and $5 shot and beer specials

Billy Goat said they have 3.50 domestic beers

Twin Anchors has $3 bottles of Brooklyn Ale or something like that...

Gold Star Bar - opens at 4. $2 Schlitz and Hamm's; $3 Old Style; $4 Dead Guy Ale; all taps are $4. We will have to show ID as only the bartender will be there. Ghost info - and two of the greatest review quotes I have ever seen - are here: http://www.chibarproject.com/Reviews/GoldStar/GoldStar.htm

Rainbo Club - $2 PBR; that is their special every day. They are also cash only, so the plastic-preferring riders should be warned. Also very crowded the later it gets in the evening. More at: http://www.chibarproject.com/Reviews/RainboClub/RainboClub.html

Inner Town Pub - no specials and they don't care. They have an interesting history, but BOO to them!

Club Lucky - won't know about the specials until that day, BUT the owner would love to have us come by. Eric will be the Manager working that day, and we are to ask for him to see the bullet hole in the bar and hear about the murder that took place there. The earlier we can get arrive (5-6pm) the better it will be, as the place gets really crowded on Saturdays. Other good stuff here: http://www.chibarproject.com/Reviews/ClubLucky/ClubLucky.htm

Lottie's Bar and Grill - Beer of the Month (TBD) for $3 or $3.50; 25 cent wings. Highly entertaining info on Lottie's at: http://www.chibarproject.com/Reviews/Lottie's/Lottie's.htm

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on April 29, 2009 at 10:13am

Only 4 days to go! And The Right Honorable Lee has finished the route. See it here. Also, John Barleycorn's, 658 West Belden Avenue, will be offering us nutters $1 off on drinks!

Comment by NicoleM on April 28, 2009 at 11:48pm

How fitting! A tweed ride on derby day! Count this gentlelady in!

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on April 28, 2009 at 10:21am

Only 5 days to go! It appears weather should be good: Partly cloudy. Highs in the upper 50s and lows in the mid 40s.

It's also Derby Day at ... Churchill Downs!

And this just in, Sydney, Down Under, will be letting the tweed flag fly to celebrate the Queen's birthday this June.

Comment by da' Square Wheelman (aka garth) on April 27, 2009 at 2:07pm

Hey folks!

Since we're only 6 days away from this auspicious event I went to get some Tweedy Style Tips out to you all. There's actually a lot of resources out there:

Tweed on Wikipedia

Photos from the inaugural Tweed Run in London last January.

The website for the San Francisco Tweed Rides - and do wander around the rest of their site, especially the organizer's Tweed Primer. He offer's the best tip for letting your tweed flay fly:

"Tweed-style is not only about tweed. A proper cyclist looks good from head to toe: from the dashing wool cap, to the silk scarf, ascot, or bow tie accenting the neck, to the snappy knickers or skirts, and or course the argyle socks!"

Now, many a cyclist has said to me but I don’t have any tweed. Fortunately for those facing this debacle Chicago is ripe with solutions for our upcoming ride! I suggest initially perusing the numerous thrift stores throughout Chicago. My favorite is The Mount Sinai Resale Shop, 814 W Diversey Pky several blocks west of Halstead.

I also have it on good knowledge that Pirogi John scouted other shops last week! And you know from his various CM forays that he's as tweedy as they come.

Comment by Hector on April 26, 2009 at 6:42pm

I can;t wait to sport the tweed. Now if I can only get a British bike I can make this a true original.

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