SANTA RAMPAGE!

Details

Time: December 15, 2012 all day
Location: Departs Twisted Spoke at noon
Street: Ogden/Grand
City/Town: Chicago
Website or Map: http://goo.gl/maps/obEPm
Event Type: rampage, drunk, adult, bikewinter, bike winter
Organized By: Bad Santas
Latest Activity: Dec 18, 2012

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Description

A Letter from Santa

Ho, f****** ho, ho,

Merry f$%^&*#@ Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Santa's heard it all before. "Santa! Santa! I want stuff! Give me more STUFF!" I tell ya what, all that thankless consumerism is really starting to give old Santa a rash. You all seem to think that Santa exists for no other reason than to bust his ass every Christmas just so you can get the latest bit of tawdry crap you saw on your teevee last night. Christ!

Well, when it comes down to it, Santa will probably end up giving in (Santa always has been a softy); but Santa ain't gonna' like it!

You might ask yourself how Santa copes. I'll let you in on a little secret: the answer is "barely". Ho ho ho! (Santa really busts himself up.) Anyway, Santa always finds it therapeutic to blow off a little steam during the "shopping" season by getting together with all his fellow Santas... (What? you didn't think there was just one of us? For the entire planet?! What a rube!) ...Anyway, like Santa was saying, Santa likes to get together with his mates and head on out on bicycle (to keep Santa's girlish figure) for a bit of pre-season Merry Making. Santa invariably does a bit of drinking and, well, sometimes things get a wee out of hand. Deal with it. It's Santa. If you complain, ya won't get nuttin' but coal in your stocking. (lousy ingrate)

So come on out and buy Santa a drink.

FB event listing: http://www.facebook.com/events/255255904596638/

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Comment by Crafty Cycling Chick on December 18, 2012 at 9:26pm: Damn straight!

Comment by Craig S. on December 18, 2012 at 9:01pm: http://urbanvelo.org/santa-cycle-rampage-record/

I'll wager not a one of these cheddar heads got a proper spanking.

Comment by Crafty Cycling Chick on December 18, 2012 at 3:22pm

Comment by bk (aka: Dr. Mambohead) on December 16, 2012 at 5:16pm: another shameful low for kringlery. try the soup!

Comment by Crafty Cycling Chick on December 15, 2012 at 7:23am: :) I think you'll like "The Twelve Days of Fistmas" in "Songs of Rampage". (Clamps appear on day 12.)

Comment by bk (aka: Dr. Mambohead) on December 15, 2012 at 1:14am: awwwWwWw well!... Right back at ya Crafty!!!... get the glue... get the clamps....

Comment by Melissa on December 14, 2012 at 2:30pm: Oh please will you cross routes with the Burning Man community's SantaKong bus? 'Twould be an epic encounter...

http://burningmanchicago.ning.com/events/santakong-2012-december-15th

Comment by Crafty Cycling Chick on December 14, 2012 at 11:16am: Oh, and usually Dreidel Dan lists a Dreidel Rampage event. I wasn't excluding the dreidels when posting this event. :)

Comment by Crafty Cycling Chick on December 14, 2012 at 11:15am: Oh, BK, I love you so hard!!!!

Comment by bk (aka: Dr. Mambohead) on December 14, 2012 at 11:14am: Activity Idea!

Can we please stop at The Trib to drop off a lump of coal for John Kass?