The Chainlink

Liar's Tour

Details

Liar's Tour

Time: April 1, 2011 from 6pm to 9pm
Location: West Town Bikes/Ciclo Urbano
Street: 2459 W Division
City/Town: Chicago, IL
Website or Map: http://maps.google.com/maps?f…
Phone: 773-255-6347
Event Type: lies_lies_lies, bikewinter
Organized By: Lee Diamond
Latest Activity: Apr 1, 2011

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Description

I try to make my tours fun and entertaining, but also informative and factual.  They are fashioned as a social event, but they are also like a rolling history lesson.  Once a year, I need a break from all of the facts and I will just lie my……head off.  This is that day.  Anything…potentially everything I say may be suspect.  The route itself is a bit of a joke and the biggest April Fool’s Day joke might be….is there a ride at all?

 

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Comment by Amber K on April 1, 2011 at 12:32pm
Too late Ryan, I already shaved it!
Comment by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on April 1, 2011 at 11:38am
NEW TOUR PRICING: I hear the tour price has been changed to a quattuordecillion British pounds per hair on your head.  (shaving your head before 6PM tonight is not allowed (or aloud)).
Comment by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on March 31, 2011 at 9:38pm
sounds so lame. makes sense that no one rsvp'd.
Comment by Kevin C Dormant on March 31, 2011 at 8:13pm
Not looking forward to it-in fact, I'm dreading it!
Comment by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on March 31, 2011 at 5:04pm
There will be waltzing to GWAR at every stop (because all rock music is written in 3/4).
Comment by Justin Sondak on March 31, 2011 at 11:57am
I'm there as long as I can pay my registration in installments: $0.01/month for the next 10,000,000 months.  Thanks for working with my budget, Lee.
Comment by Lee Diamond on March 31, 2011 at 10:32am

Just to clear it up.  It is $10,000 per spoke, not $100,000 a ride.  Disc wheels count as a million spokes so don't try it smart guy.

 

Minimum bike value is $4 million.  Bike must weigh NEGATIVE five kilograms or less.  And have schrader valves.  You may not inflate the tires.

 

Ride speed will be one hundred miles per hour.

 

We will obey all traffic signals and laws without fail.

 

We will all be required to carry our weight in cargo.

 

No cargo carriers.

 

The tour route is not published or available for preview but it is around 900 miles.  It will take 9 hours.  See above.

 

Children are permitted, but do not count towards cargo weight, but against it.  If parent is pedaling, it must have cargo equal to the weight of the parent AND the child.  Obviously.

 

No pictures aloud.

 

No talking above a whisper at any point except during one block on a very quiet residential street at which point you are required to scream.  No more than three breaths are aloud on this block.  We need a lot of screaming.

 

Ride is capped at 100,000,000,000 riders.  Period.

 

Exclamation point.

 

Comment by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on March 27, 2011 at 12:00pm
Julie, I have no idea if you're being sarcastic or not - I don't really research car-priced carbon bikes.
Comment by Julie Aberman (Hochstadter) on March 26, 2011 at 9:46pm
Ryan- That bike totally comes in my size!
Comment by Tank-Ridin' Ryan on March 26, 2011 at 5:12pm
Julie, I heard one of these is the required bicycle for the ride: $13000 Pinarello

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