Time: April 1, 2014 from 8pm to 11pm
Location: Ciclo Urbano
Street: 2459 W Division Street
City/Town: Chicago, IL
Website or Map: http://goo.gl/maps/5bEH6
Event Type: lies
Organized By: Lee Diamond
Latest Activity: Apr 13, 2014
An annual festival of balderdash on bicycles.
It is perhaps easiest if I just start with the ground rules for this year's ride.
1 - All participants must ride a big-wheel bike, also known as a Penny Farthing.
2 - All participants must laugh openly and lustily at the correct moments (as indicated by on-ride cue-cards) and not to snicker unless directed to snicker.
3 - You will be asked to state your political affiliations and agree to a thorough vetting process to join the ride, which may or may not involve rendition, colored eye-drops, blood work, contact with everyone you have shared air with, etc.
4 - All riders must do a front wheeled wheelie during the entire ride. On their big wheeled bike.
5 - No one associated with this ride is in any way responsible for the likely death, maiming, mauling, electrocution, prosecution, expulsion, implosion or vulcanization that is certain to arise from one's participation.
6 - There will be a strict limit of hyperbole on this ride. And its description. It is never, ever allowed 200% of the time.
7 - No sarcasm will be used in any way during the promotion or execution of this ride.
8 - The ride is free but of your own free will you bequeath all of your worldly possessions to Lee Diamond, the organizer of this very beneficial and mind-opening ride.
9 - You will report all expenses on Form 27-A; Amendatory Affable Affidavit.
10 - You can't really blame this ride on Obama or Obamacare. We've been at this nonsense for longer than that's been around.